Sunday 31 March 2013

Entertainment stuff from the week 25-31/3/13

Hi, Younglings

Whether you be AC, or DC, or both...


What you're about to see and hear Bill O'Reilly do will knock you out! (providing you're aware of him, that is)

'The Gay Twilight Zone' - Bionic Dance
http://youtu.be/hNlhIhPPsZA


And either way, you'll find this disgusting:

'New skin-eating amphibian discovered'
http://planetearth.nerc.ac.uk/news/story.aspx?id=1415

"Scientists have discovered a new species of caecilian - a worm-like amphibian - whose young peel off and eat their mother's skin."

It's not the most pleasant way of feeding... but then, you mammals do feed on adapted sweat, sucked out of the chest-fat of your mothers, so you can hardly talk :-P


Remember the Naiad Rug's short-film competition?

And remember that i thought Sally Le Page's was the best? Well, it seems the panel agreed:

'I won the Guardian competition!'
http://youtu.be/ElU0cMpUBsI


'The Checkout - Episode 2'
http://youtu.be/jiUZtFr1Pcg


Anyone notice the time just gone? Numerology's arbitrary, but it is occasional fun ;-)
http://tapejarascience.tumblr.com/post/46752814380/at-the-13th-second-of-the-13th-minute-of-the-13th


------------------------------------------------------ contemporary stuff

'Skulls of early humans carry telltale signs of inbreeding, study suggests'
"Traces of genetic abnormalities, such as EPF, are seen unusually often in the skulls of Pleistocene humans, from early Homo erectus to the end of the Paleolithic."
Oh, that explains a lot :-P
http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2013-03/wuis-soe031513.php

'An Electric car called Trev | Fully Charged'
Bobby Llew certainly gets to play with some odd vehicles! Electric cars are usually quiet :-D
http://youtu.be/E5pUIXe--fc

'ADVENTURES IN FINE PRINT : FLIGHT INSURANCE | The Checkout | Thursdays, 8pm on ABC1'
http://youtu.be/DHqZdiT7ENw

'THE RATIONAL CONSUMER | The Checkout | Thursdays, 8pm on ABC1'
The only researchers' names i recognised were Dunning and Kruger. The way to tell whether you're ignorant, is to introspect yourself for doubt. The more you know, the more you aware you will be of not knowing other things - this results in doubt. If you don't feel doubt... you're ignorant!
http://youtu.be/AH9jK_D_xzY

'Cassetteboy - David Cameron's School Days // Bad Teeth'
I agree with Ed: "L.O.L"
http://youtu.be/hwXr_-_vp9E

'Thank You God - Tim Minchin' :-D
http://youtu.be/IZeWPScnolo

'Water Divining / Dowsing Tests 2013' - the Mighty Mitta Muster Water Divining Test, 2013 (46 minutes)
The excuses these people come up with are the real wonder of water-divining - from fictional rivers, to wood quality, to the barmy idea that a third of our body is made of static electricity! Wondrous entertainment :o)
http://youtu.be/xQVPkrIipV0

'Safe Cracking - Numberphile' - Richard Feynman, the spare-time safe-cracker!
http://youtu.be/Waw11zhaKSk

'Somersby Cider' - a great spoof
http://www.illegaladvertising.com/post/46493787800/ibeer

------------------------------------------------------ of the weeks

Un-quotes Of The Week:

Captain Scott of the Antarctic: "Glad Oates brought his family's porridge factory - we should last forever on this lot"

Joan of Arc: "Thank you for the warm welcome"

Hannibal: "This is the last time i charter a jumbo from Virgin"

Word Of The Week: suspire -- to sigh / exhale a long breath

Expression Of The Week: "small fry" -- someone or something that is small and/or insignificant ('fry' is a term used for juvenile fish of many species)

Headline Of The Week: Andy Blair wins Capital Punishment 2013 mountain bike race

Quote Of The Week: "Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other; "does this taste funny to you"?" - Tommy Cooper

Acronym Of The Week: SMEG -- Société Monégasque de l'Electricité et du Gaz (a gas company, and generic insult in the sci-fi-sit-com Red Dwarf)

------------------------------------------------------ non-contemporary stuff

'This 'DRM' Chair Will Self-Destruct After Eight Uses'
DRM stands for Digital Rights Management, and it's what money-hoarding corporations sometimes use to prevent the sharing of files you've bought from them. What if hard products worked that way?
http://www.popsci.com/technology/article/2013-03/drm-chair-will-self-destruct-after-eight-sits

'The Particle Physics Song'
Performed by members of the CERN Choir, in the CERN Control Centre, to the tune of Flanders & Swann's 'The Hippopotamus Song' with lyrics by Danuta Orlowska.
http://youtu.be/28X9czEROPs
Here's the original:
'The Hippopotamus Song(s) - Flanders & Swann'
http://tapejarascience.tumblr.com/private/46608803192/tumblr_mkfpb252dS1rdco3z

The amazing floating stages of the Bregenz Festival, on the Austrian shore of Lake Konstanz (the Bodensee):
http://www.barnorama.com/an-amazing-floating-stage-in-austria-is-as-good-as-they-come/

A lion getting beauty treatment:
http://imgur.com/gallery/4od6hIs
http://youtu.be/FavRPQkmTVg

Horizons, in New Zealand - a giant steel sculpture that looks like a cartoon:
http://poproc.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/snapshot-horizons-in-new-zealand.html
http://laughingsquid.com/horizons-giant-steel-sculpture-on-a-new-zealand-hilltop/

More funny pareidolia via Richard Wiseman
http://richardwiseman.wordpress.com/2013/03/28/i-am-not-sure-why/

'Can you work this out?'
I think i have... which probably means i'm wrong :-D
http://tapejarascience.tumblr.com/post/46750191565/can-you-work-this-one-out-the-chairs-the-tricky

Wildlife crime scene. Can you work this one out?
http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/15aj8i/i_think_a_bird_fell_in_the_snow_and_walked_away_i/

'Roger Federer plays left-handed'
I bet i'd still lose :-D
http://youtu.be/RoILJdC8Bxc

Bryan Berg: cardstacker extraordinaire!
http://cardstacker.com/projects_dallaswr7.html

The 'you had one job' meme:
http://www.eugenpaun.ro/2013/01/you-only-had-one-job/#_
http://cheezburger.com/6640438272

World's smallest beer:
http://www.strangeorwhat.com/worlds-smallest-beer-can/#


Catching up on this year's puns:

"Renewable energy - i'm a big fan" / it makes light work... / water way to power a city
http://cheezburger.com/7144974592

A good, aussie headline :o)
http://cheezburger.com/7122069504

The little boys' room:
http://cheezburger.com/7138734848

Hermione more of these Harry Potter references are we going to have to put up with?
http://cheezburger.com/7102015488

Coors flight:
http://cheezburger.com/7143549952

Intents stargazing:
http://cheezburger.com/7140952320

Wizardry at the pump:
http://cheezburger.com/7135493632

When they said i should "pump iron"...
http://cheezburger.com/7148120576

Drag racing. Looks like fun. Streaking along the track. That would be even more fun :-P
http://cheezburger.com/7003780096

Let's get some facts straight: this stinks, and it's making me mad/cry/mad/cry/mad/cry.... but i suppose i'll have to go with the flow. Sorry, i have to go, i've got cravings for... um... um... i can't remember...
http://cheezburger.com/7130941952

Disney on ice!
http://cheezburger.com/7132688896

Ice see your car's gone for a drink:
http://cheezburger.com/7079951104

Push. Push! PUSH!
http://cheezburger.com/7035893504
{What you can't see is that there's no handle on the other side. That's right - they're in there for... a maternity :-P }

Being a chemist is serious bismuth. Inability to copernicate properly is so rustrating - it can drive you mendeleev! And everyone else just thinks you're talking in tungsten!
http://cheezburger.com/7022648320

Monday 25 March 2013

Entertainment stuff from the week 18-24/3/13

Hi, Friends


Study of the month:

'Researchers develop algorithm to maximize friendship acceptance by strangers on social networks'
http://phys.org/news/2013-03-algorithm-maximize-friendship-strangers-social.html

That's right - some nice creepy people, from the USA, Taiwan, and China - have collaborated to make an algorithm for manipulating people you don't know into becoming Facebook Friends with you!

"There is one caveat here, and that is the algorithm only works if implemented by the social network itself because they are the only ones that can analyze the structure of friend relationships between different individuals who don't know each other or have any friends in common. There is also the problem of figuring out why a social network such as Facebook would ever possibly want to add such a feature. It would seem contrary to their most basic philosophy — to allow "friends" to keep in touch."

Hmmm......


An 8th century Egyptian re-telling of the Jesus myth has been found, which casts them as a shape-shifter.

To be honest, this isn't so weird... Father, Son, virgin birth, still has Y chromosome but not a woman, dies twice, still being eaten and drunk even after 2000 years, has different skin colour for every xenophobic population around the world... of course they're a shape shifter!

http://www.livescience.com/27840-shape-shifting-jesus-ancient-text.html


The Checkout is here!!!

"THE CHECKOUT turns consumer TV on its head. The series is a no-holds-barred, irreverent and entertaining approach to the subject that would have Helen Wellings turning in her grave, if she wasn't still alive.
Each episode tackles issues that face all of us when we open our wallets - identifying ways consumers are being taken advantage of, manipulated and ripped off."

Episode 1 (30 minutes):
http://youtu.be/QMYXKSy2fb8

Individual skits are on the official YT page:
http://www.youtube.com/user/checkoutabctv/videos?view=0

My review: Brilliant. Just as expected :-)


On the subject of YouTube - they've updated their format again. It looks OK, to me:
http://www.youtube.com/user/notsyort?


A couple of new 'Funny Place Names' albums. These are from the good ol' US of A:
http://tapejarascience.tumblr.com/post/46161392346/telephone-texas-for-a-history-of-the-name
http://tapejarascience.tumblr.com/post/46161396517/hell-michigan-plus-angels-pass-and-monks-road

I'd like to live at any of these places, if Lizzy the Lezzy were there:
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151283077006863&set=a.153665376862.126203.18943096862&type=1


------------------------------------------------------ contemporary stuff

If you like Tennis, and i do, here's the Top 10 hot-shots compilation from the Indian Wells tournament (Nadal won, Djokovic didn't. That means they've each had just one loss, so far, this year!)
http://www.atpworldtour.com/Tennis/Media/Videos/Uploaded/2013/3/17/Indian-Wells-2013-Top-10-Hot-Shots.aspx

I thought the French had it bad with le shopping, le checkout, le weekend, and le starting blocks. But now i realise their number system should earn them sympathy!
'Problems with French Numbers - Numberphile'
http://youtu.be/WM1FFhaWj9w

The Naked Scientists' live show - 'BANG! Naked Science Festival' (1 hour)
http://www.thenakedscientists.com/HTML/podcasts/specials/show/20130317/

Herring semen as a flame retardant? Sounds fun, and works well - it's just not that practical :-D
'Researchers find DNA can work as a flame retardant (w/ video)'
http://phys.org/news/2013-03-dna-flame-retardant-video.html

On the subject of phallic stuff: (SFW)
http://tapejarascience.tumblr.com/post/46095441717/is-it-a-phallus-shaped-bird-is-it-a

'Judi Dench's Hot Date // Bad Teeth'
"National treasure Dame Judi Dench and Channel 4 News Anchor Jon Snow enjoy a romantic evening that takes a surprising turn... "
http://youtu.be/fOnKK4P_zzI

'MinusIQ | The pill to lower your IQ permanently' via cibertimanioshttp://micro.cibermitanios.com.ar/post/45799965354/minusiq
I hope it's not necessary to point out that, actually, igorance brings fear - not bliss :-P
http://youtu.be/z9pD_UK6vGU

Another video, by brusspup, of that cool water illusion. The wave shape is real, but the illusion of static water is formed purely through the frame-rate of the camera being the same as the frequency of the vibrations going through the water. This means it can't be seen with the naked eye.
http://micro.cibermitanios.com.ar/post/45709832906

'Sex In Video Games'
Mario and Zelda are my faves. "Je ta princesse" :-D
http://uniquedaily.com/2013/03/sex-in-video-games/

'The Cutest Hard Rock Singer Ever'
http://uniquedaily.com/2013/03/the-cutest-hard-rock-singer-ever/

'Binman disciplined after defecating in resident's driveway'
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-21760387
{It wasn't malicious :-D }

------------------------------------------------------ of the weeks

Word Of The Week: scrobble -- analysing music listening statistics

Expression Of The Week: "fie!" -- a generalised expression of distaste that has arisen separately in many languages

Etymology Of The Week: jukebox -- from 'jook house' where they were used, with 'jook' meaning 'wicked/disorderly'. Jook houses were not 'savoury' establishments - think brothel/drinking den, and so manufacturers put effort into preventing the name from sticking. They failed, obviously!

Quote Of The Week: "I didn't realise he was a teetotaller until he went off to fix himself a stiff drink and came back with an ice lolly" - Max Kauffmann

Acronym Of The Week: SCART -- Syndicat des Constructeurs d'Appareils Radiorécepteurs et Téléviseurs (Radio and Television Receiver Manufacturers' Association)

------------------------------------------------------ non-contemporary stuff

A couple of great Queeny things:

'TV ad for Queen Greatest Video Hits II DVD with Brian May & Roger Taylor'
http://youtu.be/14j_RqZVAJM
{Brian's acting is surprisingly good :-D}

And on the subject of surprisingly good:

'Ouveen - Korean Queen Tribute Band - Bohemian Rhapsody,I Want to Break Free,Don't Stop Me Now'
http://youtu.be/KjmO_opX-mA


'The Greatest Frisbee Trick Shot EVER | Brodie Smith'
http://youtu.be/ObbpNCX9BkA

'Gum Sculptures'
There's no argument - whoever made these thingummies has some gumption. They've made me gum over all emotional.
http://www.ripleys.com/weird/daily-dose-of-weird-wtf-blog/unusual-art-and-fashion/gum-sculptures/
{Are those puns groan-worthy? They better be!}

'Cat vs illusion…'
http://richardwiseman.wordpress.com/2013/03/19/cat-vs-illusion/

'Biting Elbows - 'Bad Motherfucker' (Insane Office Escape 2)'
A point-of-view real-action gunfight/escape. I'm not keen on the kind of video game that this is based on, but all that running does look kinda fun...
http://micro.cibermitanios.com.ar/post/45861131422/biting-elbows-bad-motherfucker

Magnets + electric current -> tiny little dynamo. There's nothing extra special about this - the energy comes from the battery, and the field of the coil slowly demagnetises the magnets - it's not perpetual motion, but it's fun to watch. So simple.
micro.cibermitanios.com.ar/post/45773558746
   
'Cursing Parrot'
http://uniquedaily.com/2013/03/cursin-parrot/

A surfing duck!
http://tapejarascience.tumblr.com/post/46151826764/a-surfing-duck-via-cibertimanios-it-might-be-a

'Striptease Prank with Just For Laughs Gags!'
This is a prank i wouldn't mind being on the receiving end of! (Depending on who i were with, of course...)
http://youtu.be/pmQo7GEMBdU

'Expert Hand Farter'
http://uniquedaily.com/2013/03/expert-hand-farter/
Here's his rendition of 'You Shook Me All Night Long'. I didn't think it would work with this genre, but LOLZ.
http://youtu.be/fy-8B6FY6uM

WTF? No, no - it was made that way!
http://micro.cibermitanios.com.ar/post/45536763982/ferruccio-laviani

'The 72 most ridiculous road signs ever'
Some of these are definitely faked/custom built; others are definitely real.
http://www.thevine.com.au/life/travel/strange-and-funny-road-signs/gallery/0?utm_source=FD&utm_medium=rainbow&utm_campaign=road-sign

'"Who's On First?", the sequel'
This is a classic stage/cabaret act. I've even seen the Chuckle Brothers do it... in Scarborough, it was :o)
http://www.wimp.com/thesequel/

'Bomb Sight - mapping the London WW2 bomb census between 7/10/1940 and 06/06/1941'
Wow - that's a lot of bombs!
http://bombsight.org/#11/51.4859/-0.1253

The Dreamliner - "how do you know when it's running?"
http://humour2.bluehaze.com.au/files/20130210_cartoon22.jpg
There's an article about it in NS - it's not a technology problem - it's an industry regulation one:
http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg21729036.700-grounded-where-the-boeing-dreamliner-went-wrong.html

This is why there are Health & Safety regulations!!!
http://tapejarascience.tumblr.com/post/46155414284/this-is-why-there-are-health-safety

I'm afraid this vacancy's been filled:
http://humour2.bluehaze.com.au/files/20130219_pontiff_ad.jpg


Feedback extracts:

PARANOID observation of the week comes to us from Russia, courtesy of Jeff Clarke, who uncovered it at the news site RT.com.
Operating on the principle that readers' comments on news events can be more interesting than the coverage of the news itself, Jeff turned to what RT's readers had to say about the cataclysmic meteorite event at Chelyabinsk on 15 February.
The not-untypical comment he draws our attention to is: "Europe is to blame. They're using all those wind farms they are building to blow the planet off course, and deliberately tried to make Earth collide with this meteorite whilst it was over Russia."
9 Mar
{Wind farms actually take enegry out of the air, thereby causing it to slow down. The wind on leeward sides of wind-farm sites is noticeably slower, post-construction}

THE revelation that horsemeat has been found in processed foods on sale in the UK and other European countries has led to some hasty mugging up on science by those who see part of their job as reassuring the public.
Sometimes it has been too hasty. John Arthur reports a message from his son's school taken from the Vale of Glamorgan council website: "Vale Council ensures food safety standards: the Council has confirmed 'No traces of DNA have been found in food supplied by the Vale Council's Catering Service'."
"So what were they feeding the children?" John wondered.
Since then, further mugging up on science must have taken place: the council has amended its website.
9 Mar
{I can barely conceive of what it must be like, to not know what DNA is!}

WATER from the purifier that Colin Robertson saw advertised in a shop window in Bayswater, west London, is, apparently, "Alkaline and hydrogen-rich with antioxidant properties!" Feedback asked round the office: "Is there a chemist in the house?" and of course there was: she confirmed that if the water were hydrogen-rich it would be acid, not alkaline – although this could indeed mean that it was antioxidant.
9 Mar
{Marketing guff seldom bares any relation to reality - but that's no excuse}

THE poster on display in Sainsbury's supermarket in Shorehead, Yorkshire, UK, stated: "All our chickens are 100% British."
"I suppose at rival supermarkets the legs are British," suggests Roger Denison, "but the rest of each chicken is sourced from other countries in the EU."
9 Mar
{...marketing guff also bears no relation to reality when it's motivated by nationalism...}

THE blurb on the Signature Car Hire website touts the virtues of the Mercedes-Benz Viano Ambiente with typical promotional gush: "This car won't fail to excite and surprise all who sit inside the breathtaking interior."
However, when it gets to the car's performance, the description ties itself in knots: "The acceleration speed from 0-60 mph is 11.1 seconds... the Viano's engine has reduced fuel economy by up to 6%."
Tony Budd says he is still trying to work out the units for "acceleration speed", but, he notes, "it obviously doesn't help save fuel".
16 Mar

A HELPFUL notice near the lift in the Department of Electrical and Electronic Engineering building at Imperial College London reads: "Lift does not stop at levels 3, 4 and 5. To reach levels 4 and 5 please take the lift to level 6 and come down via the stairs."
Alfredo Aguilar, who sent us a photo of the notice, is worried. He wants to know: what is on the third floor? Why are they not telling us how to get there?
16 Mar
{Isn't it obvious? There is no such place as level 3.... [cue X-files theme]}

The label on Bill Ross's jelly dessert purchased from the company cafeteria said, "Best Before Feb 30, 2013". Bill wonders when this will be and how he will get there
23 Mar
{Ask J.K.Rowling?!?}

HEALTH centres in the UK are adopting the use of touchscreens for people to self check-in when they arrive for an appointment. When Steve James approaches the screen in his local centre and touches it to start, the machine asks him if he is male or female. Then it asks him the day and month of his birth. Finally, it asks: "What year were you born?". The two options presented to him for an answer to this are: "1975" (the year of his birth) or "None".
He says he is always tempted to select "None", just to see what happens.
23 Mar
{There's one at my local, too. I've never pressed "None", for fear that the system would deduce me to be non-existent, and therefore wipe my records, rendering it impossible for me to kep my now-erased appointment... :-P }

Monday 18 March 2013

Entertainment stuff from the week 11-17/3/13

Hi Darklings,


Well, well, well... the world has a new Pope to suffer. And doesn't he look the part a prat... {is there a difference!?}

How many people have noticed that he got a Chemistry degree before going into Superstitious fraud as a career? Margaret Thatcher did the same, as she joined the Conservative Party of the UK.

Which leads me to wonder... what were they putting in Chemistry courses, in those days? :-P

This Pope might be the first from South America, but wasn't there a female one, once? There was a story, at least:

'Pope Joan' - Brian 'Brian Dunning from skeptoid.com' Dunning
http://skeptoid.com/episodes/4353

I suppose now is the time to remind you / nudge you at the fourth annual 'A' Week, starting 18/3/13, which raises awareness of how many people are good for goodness' sake, as Atheists - people who don't subscribe to Religious dogma :o)
http://www.aweek.biz/


Also - i've noticed that since i wrote the Lumosity mini-essay, i haven't seen a single ad for it, on YouTube.

Could it be that i have single-handedly eradicated this bane from existence?

Or maybe it's just coincidence...


...or luck.

It's Paddy's Day, today.

'Lucky Charms remix - 'Magically Delicious'' - melodysheep
http://youtu.be/iQ7hdZZw7aE


Did you know that the Irish tradition of line dancing derived from an era of oppression by British Protestants?

They were forbidden from dancing their traditional dance, and so they mischievously altered it so that they could perform from behind bushes, without the oppressors seeing :-P

{Line dancing only involves motion from the waist down ;-) }


'The Checkout - Apple iPhone: Advertising vs Reality Trailer'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_9ZnI-gF28

This is exactly what i want from The Chaser - public service satire, with a grin, and a raised middle finger :-D

Checkout in Spring, Hamster Wheel in Autumn. But what am i supposed to do in the summer?!?


The last thing i'd like to draw special attention to:

'Harlem Shake - Slums of India'
http://youtu.be/xuYO-q6L9tc

Hemley Gonzalez and others of Responsible Charity went to a lot of effort to organise a Harlem Shake in the slums of Calcutta (and braved the scorching sun) so you'd better watch it! ;-)

"Responsible Charity, Corp is a humanist charity providing education to children in the slums of India and empowering women and men to overcome poverty."
http://www.responsiblecharity.org/donate
http://www.facebook.com/responsiblecharity


------------------------------------------------------ contemporary stuff

"PETER & GWEN" — A Bad Lip Reading of The Amazing Spider-Man
http://youtu.be/D7jtpy0lfBU

There are more bad lip-readings, from last year, in the non-contemporary section...

'Bri and Kerry 13/03/2013' - Brian May and Kerry Ellis performing their acoustic version of Born Free. Please try to ignore the terrible joke from Holly Willoughby! You'll regret it, if you don't :-o
http://youtu.be/c8PRMlN3OM0

'Honey And Feathers' - charlieissocoollike
http://youtu.be/yuRvqDLbhXw
Watch out for the special guest!

'Gorgeous, informative song about techy details of evidence based practice' - 'Some Studies That I Like To Quote'
http://bengoldacre.posterous.com/gorgeous-informative-song-about-techy-details
They're wrong about salt and fat, btw - but then, that's the point - the evidence is what matters to whether the claims are true. Guidelines should regulate behavioural processes (e.g. whether to read studies/believe the Roche salesman) - not end-point decisions (e.g. 100/60 bp = bad).

'Maximum Security Condoms'
I searched this picture for hours, until i realised it wasn't a 'Where's Willy' :-P
http://www.illegaladvertising.com/post/45181382904/maximum-security-condoms-click-for-naughty

If you like Ben Goldacre. And why wouldn't you? Here's 80 glorious minutes of him :o)
http://therapeuticseducation.org/podcast/special-episode-%E2%80%93-bad-science-bad-pharma-good-podcast-ben-goldacre

'Animal Runs Onto Soccer Field And Bites Two Players'
It's a cow!!!!!! No it's not.
That Pine Marten has reflexes like a tennis player on amphetamines! {reference}
http://youtu.be/xXmQnQxmfTM

------------------------------------------------------ of the weeks

Word Of The Week: jentacular -- pertaining to breakfast

Expression Of The Week: "put a flea in their ear" -- give someone something to fret about; usually as the consequence of a harsh rebuke

Etymology Of The Week: butler -- cup-bearer, later wine-bearer

Quote Of The Week: "I can't remember what my line on drugs is. What's my line on drugs?" - Boris Johnson, during an election campaign {What a prat!}

Comically-disgusting Synonym Of The Week: Zinc Finger. Zinc fingers in Science

As a premonishment to the limericks, further down the page...

Acronym Of The Week: CUNTS -- Cambridge University National Trust Society (name retracted - obviously! But some still use it, informally)

------------------------------------------------------ non-contemporary stuff

'Nina Conti Live At The Apollo'
http://youtu.be/7ixiP_nmCfU
I blogged the episode this was in, back in November, when it was on iPlayer. It's still hilarious :-D

"Edward and Bella" — A Bad Lip Reading of Twilight
http://youtu.be/FmxSk0wZxss

"MORE TWILIGHT" — A Bad Lip Reading of The Twilight Saga: New Moon
http://youtu.be/MYC-waukYWo

"The Hunger Games" — A Bad Lip Reading
http://youtu.be/QjGk_jU6t5A

'Start Me Up Prank'
http://youtu.be/6dNYPHh8nnw
{That's the only dance move i can do... :-P }

Ring-binder swimming pool art:
http://tapejarascience.tumblr.com/post/45574395878/via-cibertimanios

"Os ovos se sentem assim antes de nós os fritar"
{Rough translation: Eggs feel well until we fry them}
http://cemporcentodecriatividade.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/os-ovos.html

This is awesome. No LASER sights. No altimeters. No third-party guide. Perfect landing. Birds are awesome. But not as awesome as Tapejaras :-P
http://micro.cibermitanios.com.ar/post/45435291342

More awesome. Stormy clouds through a wide-angle lens (2994 x 993 pixels)
http://sofrickinawesome.tumblr.com/post/13708514184

Divided attention - how many objects can you follow at once?
I was shockingly poor :-D
(I'm counting any number of X-es as failures, though)
http://micro.cibermitanios.com.ar/post/45206775455/cuantos-objetos-puede-seguir-tu-atencion-al-mismo


In light of Paddy's Day (17/3/13) i thought i'd give you a few of my favourite Limericks, in ascending order.

You are aware that they're, traditionally, disgustingly lewd, right? ;-)

There was a young lady of Norway,
Who hung by her toes in a doorway;
        She said to her beau,
        "Just look at me Joe,
I think I've discovered one more way."

There was a young laundress named Wrangle,
Whose tits tilted up at an angle;
        "They may tickle my chin,"
        She said with a grin,
"But at least they keep out of the mangle."

There was a young man from Devizes,
Whose balls were of two different sizes,
        One was so small,
        It was no ball at all,
The other was large and won prizes.

There was a young lady of Kent,
Who admitted she knew what it meant,
        When men asked her to dine,
        And plied her with wine,
She knew, oh she knew -- but she went!

There was a young man from Kent,
Whose tool was so long that it bent;
        To save himself trouble,
        He put it in double,
And instead of coming, he went.

There was a young man from Bel-Aire,
Who was screwing his girl on the stair;
        But the banister broke,
        So he doubled his stroke,
And finished her off in mid-air.

There was a young man named McNamiter,
With a tool of prodigious diameter;
        But it wasn't the size,
        Gave the girls a surprise,
But his rhythm -- iambic pentameter.

There was a young lady of Ealing,
Who professed to lack sexual feeling,
        But a cynic named Boris,
        Just touched her clitoris,
And she had to be scraped off the ceiling.

There was a young man from Calcutta,
Who was heard in his beard to mutter,
        "If her Bartholin glands,
        Don't respond to my hands,
I'm afraid I shall have to use butter."


And a couple of classics:

There was a young chaplain from Kings,
Who talked about God and such things;
    But his real desire,
    Was a boy in the choir,
With a bottom like jelly on springs.

{Told by Stephen Fry, on QI-XL}

There was a young man from Nantucket,
Whose cock was so long he could suck it;
        When he looked in his glass,
        He saw his own arse,
And broke his own neck trying to fuck it.

{Everyone knows that one, don't they? :-D}


Feedback excerpts:

"CAUTION: Avoid contact with any plastics." This was the instruction on the plastic bottle of Dentyl Active Plaque Fighter mouthwash that Nick Rutter bought
16 Feb

READER Elizabeth Romanaux draws our attention to what she aptly calls an "enigmatic product". It's a fluorite crystal that has been "activated" by a company called Celestial Lights of Colorado, for $49.95 a throw.
The website celestialights.com explains, in the lurid colours we have come to expect from such adverts, that: "Our crystals are unique because we activate or 'charge' them energetically in our Pranava Energy Activator." What might that be? It says Prana is Sanskrit for "the Breathe of the Creator", and that the Activator "basically charges each crystal with a special Lifetronic Light Frequency or Prana. The crystal is now charged and activated permanently to attract and transmit charged Lifetrons or Prana healing energy."
There's more. Before we hurt our brain by trying to read on, can anyone tell us what "Lifetrons" are? "I wonder," Elizabeth says, "if they are like positrons?"
16 Feb

AN ARTICLE by Don Aitkin, former chairman of the Australian Research Council, was published in The Australian newspaper on 19 January. Headlined "Someone please tell the ABC it's not all doom and gloom out here", it attacks the Australian Broadcasting Corporation, the country's public broadcaster, for its negative reporting of the effects of climate change.
One sentence stood out for Feedback reader Luke Wilson. Aitkin wrote: "My memory may be faulty, but I cannot recall the ABC telling any good news stories about rising sea levels."
Luke's comment on this has, we think, a distinctively Australian flavour: "What, pray, would constitute such a story? That the beach will soon be closer?"
16 Feb
{The Australian is a Murdoch-owned 'paper, in case you wanted to know. It certainly makes the "not all doom and gloom" part funnier.}

The email Paul Maclean received from Material Recycling World magazine was headed "Rubbish news you can trust". Paul's email security system classified it as "junk mail"
23 Feb

"NOW 78p" reads the label on the lump of cheese with apricot pieces that Tim Adlam is holding in the photo he sends from his local Tesco supermarket. At that price, we immediately suspect the "best before" date is imminent. But it's stranger than that. The sticker continues: "Do not use." Why? "Product does not exist."
We started imagining how this might have come about, but our brain informed us firmly that anything we might know about shelf-stacking and stock control was going to remain a repressed memory.
So we're left wondering about the label from a consumer's point of view. Is non-existent food the next big thing in weight loss? If Tim had scanned the barcode, would the entire supermarket chain have undergone a "blue screen" crash?
Or could this paradoxical product be the secret key to tunnelling into the real reality, the one outside supermarket-world? We can but hope.
23 Feb

MEANWHILE, Mike Martin sends a photo of a sign on the Camperdown campus of the University of Sydney, Australia, which very neatly and elegantly announces: "Sign under repair."
There was no clue what repairs were required, and a few days later it vanished, possibly into a logical maelstrom.
23 Feb

AND while we're obsessing about signs again, David Ivory notes that he has seen several signs near where he lives in Warwickshire, UK, saying "Strictly Private". He wonders if any readers have been lucky enough to find a "Fairly Private" or "Moderately Private" sign in their travels.
23 Feb

"Chew your way to immortality," Terence Kuch suggests, on seeing The Silver Diner loyalty card: "Your Eat Well Do Well Card is a lifetime card and it will never expire!"
2 Mar

THE headline that David Blacher sends from the Albuquerque Journal reads: "Horse rejects study of horse slaughter".
Well, it would do, wouldn't it? Clever of it, though, to convince the New Mexico House (of Representatives) to reject the scheme, too.
2 Mar

DESPITE their sensitivity towards Feedback's feelings, several readers have felt compelled to tell us about an event that, in reader Tom Boardman's words, "must surely justify opening the nominative determinism file yet again".
The event was a UK League One football match between Hartlepool and Notts County on 2 February. Hartlepool won the game 2-1, the winning team's goals being scored by players bearing the names Hartley and Poole.
"What complex chain of events led to that?" Tom wonders.
2 Mar
{I've put a screenshot of this on Tumblr}

FINALLY, let us record the ways in which certain newspapers misunderstood the announcement on 6 February of a newly found largest prime number.
"Although of little significance," UK paper the Daily Mail reported, prime numbers "have long fascinated amateur and professionals and the discovery of a new one is a badge of honour in mathematical circles".
Er, no. Richard Mallett was just one of those who pointed out that prime numbers are central to the entire and much-vaunted internet economy, through their role in encryption and hence online payments.
And Pui Wah Carter writes of his son Peter's response to the UK Independent newspaper's claim that "Even the most powerful computers struggle to work out the factors of a large prime number".
Peter thinks he could work out the factors of any given prime number, even without the help of a computer. (For any readers who bunked off school that day: the definition of a prime number is that its only factors are itself and 1.)
23 Feb
{The scientific illiteracy of journalists has long been a gripe of mine. It's one of the reasons i started this blog - we need more voices with intellect behind them!}