Monday, 26 November 2012

Entertainment stuff from the week 19-25/11/12

Hi, smurfs and maybe-heavily-outnumbered smurfettes

I've not had the best of weeks... [complimentary awwws, please]

I went to dinner with a cannibal couple; but i must have said something wrong...

They gave me the cold shoulder.

...oh, it's alright for you to be flippant; but i'm feeling pretty cut-up about it, actually!


No, no, seriously - i am bemoaning a real loss - the loss of the Naked Scientists from East England's local radio station.
<Link 1> <Link 2> <Link 3>
Although The Naked Scientists is a largely-independently-established Science programme, with a decade of history, and with little funding from the Beeb, it is a sorry sign when a broadcaster decides that the highest quality Science broadcasting available, centred on one of the world's key research organisations - Cambridge University - is not local to East England, nor worth usurping one hour of country music for!

I expect the Naked Scientists will survive this, but the linchpin of this anti-science behaviour - Mike Rawsthorne - should be thoroughly ashamed of his egregious 'contribution' to society.

//Rant over

Anyways, let's move on to something more fun...

Following on from last week's
exposé of film industry remakes, i have uncovered info outlining failed early versions of well-known films.

I can (as long as the FBI don't find out where i live) reveal the following (and utterly pathetic) titles to you:

'Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Have Man-flu'

'Apocalypse In 8 Billion Years, As The Sun Expands To Become A Red Giant'

the musical version of 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre'

'What Ever Happened To Baby Lotion?'

'Thursday the 12th'

'Star Warts'

Papier-mâché Fiction'

'12 Disconcerted Men'

'Schindler's Shopping List'

'Forest Dump'

'Terminator 2: Finals Exam Day'

And 'Shaving Private Ryan' / 'Saving Ryan's Privets' / 'Shaving Ryan's Privates'

Expect another caseload, next week...

------------------------------------------------------ contemporary stuff

'Astronauts bring back new life'
Disappointingly, they did not find little green men - they were on a training course, down a cave. (on Earth)

I finally know what it feels like to 'go viral' LOL
For no apparent reason, this post of mine, on Tumblr, accrued >300 likes and re-blogs in 1 day! [swoons] (367, so far)

Two of my four 'Funny Bird Names' albums have been posted to Tapejara, on Tumblr:

A new series of 'The Infinite Monkey Cage' has begun :)
Star guest this week: Patrick Stewart. About half way through, he whips out something... a little special... [tears come to eyes] :P

But OMFG - Bleak Expectations is back! How the funk did i not hear about this?!?!
Series 5, Episode 1 - 'A Pleasant Yet Dull Life Re-Evilled'
"My mind churning with thought butter, i went outside, where it was as dark as a banker's soul." PBTIHB

Ten *more* bets you will always win, from Richard Wiseman

Episodes 7 and 8 of The Unbelievable Truth:

------------------------------------------------------ of the weeks

Word Of The Week: osculate -- touching another surface (kissing)

Expression Of The Week: "chacun à son goût" -- “to each his own taste”

Inappropriate Kids' Toy Of The Week: a death rattle

Inspiring Quote Of The Week: "I think of it often and imagine the scene clearly. Even if they come to kill me, i will tell them what they are trying to do is wrong, that education is our basic right." - Malala Yousafzai; the 14-year-old girl who was shot by Islamists, and declared "a symbol of the infidel and obscenity" for wanting to go to school.

Ridiculous Religion Quotes Of The Week (from Islam's Hadith):

Sahih al Bukhari No. 2735 - "Allah's Apostle said, "the hour will not be established until you fight with the Jews, and the stone behind which a Jew will be hiding will say. "O Muslim! There is a Jew hiding behind me, so kill him"."
    a) Religion of peace?    b) Talking rocks?!?

Sahih al Bukhari No. 2737 - Allah's Apostle said, "the hour will not be established until you fight with the Turks; people with small eyes, red faces, and flat noses. Their faces will look like shields coated with leather. The Hour will not be established till you fight with people whose shoes are made of hair."
    a) That's a 'slightly' insultingly stereotypical description of Turks, there    b) Allah has some major problem with hairy shoes?!?

Silly Sports-Journalist Quote Of The Week: "This was Llodra at his very best; the reflexes of a mongoose on amphetamines"

------------------------------------------------------ non-contemporary stuff

Blue honey? Yeah - i'll give it a go :D

Oh - i can barely believe this!
'Segovia Carpet Cleaning'
(phonetically: sick-over-your carpet)

Dirty, dirty stuff - bad magazine :D

At last - a UFO turns into an IFO - but it's not a Chinese lantern, this time - it's the light on top of a combine harvester :)
It's so disappointing when people turn genuine mysteries, with genuine answers, into a puerile alien-spotting contest. But well done, Forestry Commission Scotland.

Man finds doppelganger in 16th century Italian painting. With more and more peope in the world, and more and more accessible records, occurrences like this should become more common.

'Mad phantom gluer of Ireland'
This is weird, with a capital 'we'!

Now that's what i call a dropshot!

It's fine for us to laugh; but seriously - what would you do? :D

A wonderful perspective illusion:

More optical illusions:

A nice illusion:

That's a bad place to stand, little pigeon!

Watch your backs - those mannequins are out to get us :P

Daniel Firman's gravity-defying elephant:

Extra-terrestrial adolescents:

The world's longest word has been read aloud, and recorded - and it took 3.5 hours!

Stop! This is not an ordinary carrot cake - it’s a turkey cake!

26 additions that make signs better:

Sunday, 25 November 2012

The Epidemiological Hazards Of Medical Screening

(title links to YouTube video version)

Date Started: 20/11/12
Date Completed: 24/11/12
Date First Published: 24/11/12

ref: ‘No Benefit from Routine Checkups’ – Dr Steven Novella, MD


Medical screening – where a population (usually large) is tested for a condition/disease, without prior knowledge of its presence
Positive result – when a test says the patient does have condition/disease X
Negative result – when a test says the patient does not have condition/disease X
Sensitivity – the chance a test will return a true result, when that result should be positive (they do have X)
Specificity – the chance a test will return a true result, when that result should be negative (they do not have X)

(A failure in sensitivity returns false negatives; a failure in specificity returns false positives)

Let’s say a condition called ‘X’ exists in 1 in 1000 people, and we test 1000 people for it.

The test we use has sensitivity of 99%, and specificity of 99% (that’s a very good test, by modern standards, by the way)

A 99% specificity means 99 in 100 will be true “negative” results, and 1 in 100 will be false “positive” results – the test will say a patient has X, when they don’t, 1 in 100 times.

With 1000 people tested, this means 1 in 100 false positives returns 10 false positive results (9.99 = 999/100, statistically).

Add this to the one true positive, and we get a total of 11 positive results, 91% (2sf) of which are false!

A 99% sensitivity means 99 in 100 will be true “positive” results, and 1 in 100 will be false “negative” results – the test will say a patient does not have X, when they do, 1 in 100 times.

In every 100th person who has X, it will not be detected. So with 100,000 people tested, and 100 of them having X, this means 1 in 100 false negatives returns 1 false negative result.

In our example, of 1000 people, there is a 1% chance of the only person who has it, being missed.

This happens because X is rare – too rare for the test to detect usefully.
Our test has a... well, let’s call it ‘precision’... has a precision of 99% - a 99 in 100 precision.
But X has a rarity of 0.1% - a 1 in 1000 prevalence.

To test for some condition and not have our data swamped with false results, we must either be in a case where X is far more abundant (e.g. a chronic, common condition, like high blood pressure) or advance our test – increase its precision, a few decimal places.

If, for example, its precision were 99.99% (doctors would be ‘over the moon’ if they could get their hands on a test like this), then the stats would play out thusly...

We still test 1000 people, looking for one case.

This time, sensitivity and specificity are 99.99%

This means 9999 in 10,000 true “negative” results, and 1 in 10,000 false “positive” results.

With 1000 people tested, this means a 10% chance of getting one erroneously positive result.

It also means 9999 in 10,000 true “positive” results, and 1 in 10,000 false “negative” results.

With 1000 people tested, this means a 0.01% chance of the only true positive being missed.

Unfortunately, this scenario is a pipe-dream. We have to work with what we’ve got.

There is definitely a role for medical screening, but it should only be done when it is worthwhile.

Plus, there are costs to screenings, which sometimes go beyond poorly-utilised man-hours, which could be applied more constructively.

Some examples, exploring the various costs of screening...

New Scientist: ‘X-ray hazard for people with obesity’
Because obese people have more body tissue, they require higher doses of radiation, to effectively ‘see’ into their bodies. This raises their risk of cancer development.
But scans can be used to detect cancer, too. And other conditions also. The costs have to be weighed against the benefits.

Margaret McCartney: ‘Self checking via Embarrassing Bodies’
Encouraging people to do their own self-checks increases fear in the audience, but not the incidence of the problem (obviously). This creates a negative-heavy scenario, like in our example, where medical providers are flooded with fearful patients, exhorting with erroneous results.

Margaret McCartney: ‘Streptococcus B in pregnancy: to screen or not to screen?’
A £30 test for Strep B in foetuses? Sounds like a good thing, but isn’t. The reason – like in our example, the tests are poor, producing a sea of erroneous results  - meaning mostly false positives - and hence even more worry than you had before. Plus, when you know your foetus has Strep B, all you can treat it with is antibiotics, which are already massively overused. This overuse is responsible for the development of superbugs, such as MRSA, which have the potential to kill many, many people. First-hand risks of these antibiotics include asthma, allergies, and death. £30 a time for a test like that? Keep your money.

‘Inside Health and screening’
Private clinics are increasingly advertising low-precision screenings to people who are unaware that they produce seas of useless, false results. And they sometimes charge hundreds, for the pleasure! Again – keep your money.

‘Question: Should I be screened for prostate cancer? Answer: No.’
Tests for prostate cancer orient around detection of PSA (Prostate-Specific Antigen). These tests are a highly inaccurate indicator of the current presence, or impending development of, prostate cancer. This renders it useless, and a million kilometres from cost-effective.

NHS: ‘Breast Cancer Screening’
Because breast cancer predominantly develops in later life, it’s much rarer in under-40s women, and even rarer still in men. This means it’s pointless routinely testing for tumours in men and young women, which would usurp resources, and time, and expose millions of people to radiation unnecessarily. As said before, the costs have to be balanced with the benefits.

It’s not effective, nor cost-effective, to have our GPs nurse us through life, checking our bodywork over for dents and scratches every morning, like we do with our cars/bikes/boats/helicopters (if you’re really rich).

An 'old wife' once said: "As long as it saves one life, then it’s worth the effort"

Sorry, but it isn't – not if more lives could be saved by doing something else.

In the Information Age, people are increasingly utilising the Web, to do their own, self-diagnosis.

This can save the Doc effort, but it does mean we run the risk of bumping into quackery, and shelling out for a packet of grated alien earlobe, to be drunk every morning, in boiled water!

Or maybe shelling out for just the water [coughs: “homeopathy”]

And then the Doc has to pick up the tab when we get worse.

So to make the most of medical screenings, we must:

1)      Have a good idea of what we’re looking for
2)      Have a good test for it
3)      Know what we can do when we find it

“All of this is a powerful reminder that we need evidence-based standards in medicine more than ever. Health care systems are straining under rising costs. We need to use the best evidence available to figure out what not to do, because it wastes resources or even does net harm. Science remains our best tool for improving the health care system.” - Dr Steven Novella, MD

Monday, 19 November 2012

Entertainment stuff from the week 12-18/11/12

Hi, wombles and womblettes

First up - a correction:
Last week, i said Clue's Series 58 would start in the new year.
I was wrong - it has already started!

Episode 1 of ISIHAClue, on iPlayer

Second - aaargh - the last episode of The Hamster Wheel!
Clue's come just in time :)

Thirdly, due to Hollywood's running out of money, running out of ideas, and running out of lawyers who'll bother to push 'intellectual property' legislation; they've decided to take a leaf out of the pharmaceutical companies' books.
They're resorting to hybrid movies, which incorporate old ideas in such a way that the new films have the same content, but, technically, are new films.
They call this 'evergreening'.

Coming to every naff cinema complex near you, so that you can't miss them, are going to be such composites as:

'A Bedfull Of Foreigners' (1998), 'The Italian Job' (1969), and 'Up Pompeii' (1971)

which will become an HD, comedy version of the 1979 blue movie 'Caligula'
(If you want to know exactly how 'blue' the original Caligula was, put "caligula orgy" into Google. NSFW, obviously!)

'Get Carter' (1971), and 'Ben Hur' (1959) will be made into  'Ben Carter', and 'Get Hur'

'Ben Carter' is a fly-on-the-wall about a 30-something from Chepstow called... Ben Carter. They're hoping it'll be bland enough to cater to a wide market of intellectually-stunted children and adults alike... the same way Twilight does.

'Get Hur' is merely a remake of the formerly-titled 'There's Something About Mary' (1998)

Another amalgamation of old films will put 'Flower Drum Song', 'A Raisin in the sun', 'A day in the death of joe egg', 'Sugar Rush', and 'Butter' together, to make a cake!

'Up Periscope', and 'Sincerely Yours' have been combined to make a film called...

'Sincerely periscope'

Well... what did you expect?

...and finally, an epic TV-to-movie adaptation:

'The Longest Day', 'The Day After Tomorrow', '55 Days At Peking', 'Around The World In 80 Days', and 'The Neverending Story' have been amalgamated into... 

'The Complete 'Lost' series 1-121 Hard-Drive Set'

At the premiere, the entire audience died of starvation, in their seats!

Expect news of more developments in the film industry, in coming weeks.....

------------------------------------------------------ contemporary stuff

'The Hamster Wheel: Outrage In The Media' :-D :-D :-D

'David Attenborough: 60 Years In The Wild'
The first of a three-part documentary, recounting David Attenborough's career in Natural Science broadcasting, and the changes he's seen along the way.

'Another 10 bets you will always win' - Richard Wiseman

'How Predictable Are You?' - also Richard Wiseman

'How suggestible are you?' - Richard Wiseman again. He gets about, this guy!

'Would someone like to explain wtf is happening here?'
And he gets an answer, too...

Live at the Apollo - Series 8, Episode 1 - Nina Conti's ventriloquism act in this show is far-king hill-arious!!
(Nudge: she doesn't do a standard creepy-model-based skit)

------------------------------------------------------ of the weeks

Word Of The Week: Capricious; Given to sudden and unaccountable changes of mood or behaviour.

Fact Of The Week: Beryllium in the surface of rocks can be used to track glaciers through history

Unflattering Nickname Of The Week: 'Gerry-flappers' - the nickname for fans of Geraldine Farrar

NSFW Street-name Of The Week: Gropecunt Lane

Horniest Food Of The Week: Bareback Bacon

Queer-friendly Protozoan Of The Week: Leucocytozoon sp. LBT4

Quote Of The Week: "Life is like a sewer - what you get out of it, depends on what you put into it" - Tom Lehrer

------------------------------------------------------ non-contemporary stuff

Evil, plotting boxes!
and super-cool 3D drawings

Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie join The Amaz!ng Randi to debunk an Astrologer:
Stephen's so feisty, isn't he!

In case you didn't see this, the first time around:
'Skeptoid #300: The Secret of the Gypsy Queen'
A fairy-tale-type story, telling how a lone, skeptical girl, saves her town from the pop pseudoscience of the day - the uberscarf.

A butter pat, cut with: a hot knife, a 2000W Ytterbium fibre LASER, a 55000 PSI waterjet, and sodium hydroxide

Denture shoes... weird!?

This is what a Toys 'R Us, on fire, in North Mackay, Queensland, looks like:

Well, at least it's cheap :D

I don't know whether to drink this coffee or munch it :D

And the parting joke:

A young woman goes to her doctor, afraid of the green spot on the inside of each of her thighs; "they won't wash off, they seem to be getting worse."

The doctor assures her he'll get to the bottom of the problem, and not to worry, at least until the tests come back.
A few days later, the woman's phone rings. It's the doctor. She immediately begs to know what's causing the spots.

The doctor says; "You're perfectly healthy. There's no problem. But, i'm wondering... does your partner wear ear-rings or studs?"

The woman stammers; "Why, yes, but how did you know?"

He replies; "Tell them they're not real gold."

{Think about it... but not for too long :-P }

Monday, 12 November 2012

Entertainment stuff from the week 5-11/11/12

I can barely believe it... the last six weeks has gone past like... well, six weeks, i suppose.
How well have you been paying attention? :-P

...stop rambling, Tap...

What i am referring to, is the end of Red Dwarf X (disregarding the Wednesday repeat). BUT...

The DVD will be available in a staggering one week - its Region 2 release date is the 19th of November.
Region 4 will get it on the 12th of December, and Region 1 will get it on the 8th of January.

How much will it be?
£14.99 for UKians. $24.32 for USAians. $29.97 for Aussians.

And what's going to be on it?

Well - all the episodes, obviously; plus a 2 hour documentary about how Red Dwarf X came to fruition.
There are only 3 hours of episode - and a 2 hour doco? Is that in proportion?! Sounds slightly odd to me... must be quite comprehensive.

"in two utterly compelling hours director Nathan Cubitt gets you closer than ever before to the making of a full series of Red Dwarf. You'll see candid interviews, behind-the-scenes photography, bucketloads of rushes, rehearsal footage, and a lot more."

Sounds it!

Great news for Clue fans - as well as the new series (series 58), due to be broadcast in the new year - there will be a special 40th Anniversary show, of the same ilk as 'I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Christmas Carol' and 'Humph In Wonderland'.
I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue's not a show that most people, who've been weaned on TV, grow used to quickly, but it's one of the best - hence why it's been around for four decades!
And it's certainly enough for me to get excited about :)

Third to Dwarf and Clue comes a mention of a little, provincial thing called the, umm.... what was it? ...oh, the US Presidential elections!
Which Obama won - w00p w00p.
I know he's a lawyer, and a polly, and he's achieved so much less than we all expected him too, but -- our options were him, or an oligarchic, Mormon nutbag.
The choice couldn't have been much easier!
This dog seems to agree:

A new Science show on the BBC: Dara O'Briain's Science Club

Episode 1 (of 6), on iPlayer:
One of his guests is Steve Jones -  biologist extraordinaire!

This song just keeps growing on me..."we can change the world!"
'Symphony of Science - Our Biggest Challenge'

This is what ingenuity looks like. Unfortunately.,-empisteytheite-mas-patentes-kathimerinotitas-pou-kanoun-ti-diafora.htm

'In front or behind?'
I think the one on the left's in front... how 'bout you?

----------------------------------- of the weeks

Word Of The Week: diadochokinetic

Etymology Of The Week: Mooning

Brand-name Etymology Of The Week: Persil (perborate and silicate)

Quote Of The Week: "You can do magic with science, but you can't do science with magic." - Erica Dunning (Brian Dunning's daughter)

Legendary animal of the week: Gyascutus - a mythical beast with legs that are longer on one side of its body, to walk around steep hills :D

Fact Of The Week: A 'mulligan' is a re-played shot, in golf, where the first was cocked up (only in friendlies, though - not in professional golf!)

----------------------------------- old stuff

Bacterio-fungal art. I discovered this while Tumblring, during the week

Some Captain Disillusion videos. I still wonder why a grown man would paint his face to make YouTube videos, but hey - his are damn good! He takes spurious videos and explains how they were faked, or why they're not as they seem.

"Gas Station Ghost" RECUT

"Catching Glasses" Explanation

"I love everybody..."

'Playing with pencil shavings', by Marta Altés

When Adria Airways lost Andreas Scholl's suitcase, he didn't just get mad - he got even - he wrote a song about it! Don't muck around with this guy...

Wanted: A good proof-reader :D

'Matrix Ping Pong' Brilliant! :D

The week's jokes:

As Air Force One arrives at Heathrow Airport, President Obama strides to a reception from the Queen.

They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London, where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses.
They continue on towards Buckingham Palace, waving to the thousands of fervent British monarchists - all is going well.

Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous earth shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire.
The smell is atrocious and both passengers in the carriage must use handkerchiefs over their noses.
The fart shakes the coach, but the two dignitaries of State do their best to ignore the incident.

The Queen turns to President Obama, "Mr. President, please accept my regrets. I am sure you understand there are some things that even a Queen cannot control."

Obama, always trying to be "Presidential," replied: "Your Majesty, do not give the matter another thought ... until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses."

Later that day...

{See if you can do the accent, as you read :P }

President Barack Obama visits a Glasgow hospital. He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness. He greets one.

The patient replies:

Fair fa your honest sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin race,
Aboon them a ye take yer place,
Painch, tripe or thairm,
As langs my airm.

Obama is confused, so he just grins and moves on to the next patient.

The next patient responds to Obama's greeting with:

Some hae meat an canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat an we can eat,
So let the Lord be thankit.

Even more confused, and his grin now rictus-like, the President moves onto the next patient, who immediately begins to chant:

Wee sleekit, cowerin, timorous beasty,
O the panic in thy breasty,
Thou needna start awa sae hastie,
Wi bickering brattle.

Now seriously troubled, Obama turns to the accompanying doctor and asks, 'Is this a psychiatric ward?'

'No' replies the doctor, 'this is the serious Burns unit.

[groans and/or bemused faces all around, i expect]


Monday, 5 November 2012

Entertainment stuff from the week 29/10 - 4/11/12

G'day, folks.

I went to see Skyfall (the new Bond movie, y'know?)

Good film. But rather conflicted.

Daniel Craig's films are prequels to the others, right? The plot certainly seems to indicate that.

Judi Dench's female 'M' carries on from Pierce Brosnan's obviously contemporary Bond.... [loads of other things i'm not going to bother for the sake of terseness]..... and at one point they reference the car that gets introduced to Bond in Goldfinger - the Aston Martin DB5.

How's that supposed to work?
If the film's a prequel (even though it is set in modern climes, with modern technology) then surely he hasn't seen that car yet, for us all to get gooey and nostalgic about it?

Chronology approved.
Continuity denied.

Anyway - putting all that aside - good film, well worth watching :-) 

...and plenty of errors and things for pedants like me to have fun watching out for (don't worry, you probably won't notice them - they're tiny).

...and now, on with the fun...

------------------------------------------------------ contemporary stuff

The Hamster Wheel: Health in the Media

'Obamney 2012' - a mash-up of comments by Obama and Romney

'Mitt Romney Style (Gangnam Style Parody)'

Especially for Queeneros -- Brian May and Kerry Ellis perform 'Life Is Real' (a less well known Queen song, from the Hot Space album)

Brian May and Bruce Dickinson on the same stage! How fucking awesome is that? (The song's 'Black Knight', by Deep Purple)

------------------------------------------------------ of the weeks

Press Release Of The Week: The British Sandwich Association's 'British Sausage Week' Sausage Sandwich Of The Month

Word of The Week: Prolix

Etymology Of The Week: 'Forty winks'

Town Of The Week: Glocca Morra

------------------------------------------------------ old stuff
Woah - that's some crazy shit - standing waves in a wave tank.

'Kirstie Talks Dirty' - another mash-up

'Nigella Talks Dirty' - another mash-up

I've been catching up on Fake Science, this week. Here's the best of 2012:

Body language

Elephant poaching

Rectangles and squares

Life on Mars

The fossil record

Science at home

Your eyes can play tricks

Bears and honey

America reaches the moon first

Dog whistles

Neat nature facts

'Ursula Martinez the Naked Magician'
How can she do those tricks, when she has nowhere to hide the 'kerchief? Gah.... (the music's the theme to 'A Shot In The Dark', by the way - a Peter Sellers comedy film which features a nudist colony, in one of the scenes)

Wow - that's a lot of penguins - and a lot of pixels!

Well-timed photographs:

Cut-away leaf art, by Lorenzo Durán

Want to see a 3-year-old kid play with an orchestra, in public? Go on, then...
...and this is him, now:

An advantage of getting old is that you can pull stunts like this :D

Getting xxx-ier, now :D :P

A dirty waterspout, LOL

Dog hooked on crack

"i just got stopped by a police woman and she said, "anything you say can & will be held against you" so i said "BOOBS!" hehe" - Lizzy the Lezzy


And a joke to finish. If you understand it, you're old enough to have read it ;-)

Three little ducks go into a bar..........

"Say, what's your name?" the bartender asked the first duck.

"Huey," was the reply.

"How's your day been, Huey?"

"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What
else could a duck want?" said Huey

"Oh.. That's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second duck, "Hi,
and what's your name?"

"Dewey," came the answer from duck number two..

"So how's your day been, Dewey! ?" he asked.

"Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day
myself. What else could a duck want?"

The bartender turned to the third duck and said, "So, you must be Louie?"

"No," she said, batting her eyelashes.

"My name is Puddles."